To be real and enjoy the warmth of connecting more deeply with others, you need to learn to look beyond appearance. Here are some steps you can take:
Self reflection
Look at your own biases and ask yourself what assumptions do you make about people based on their appearance? What fears influence the way you present yourself? The more aware you are of your own illusions, the more you can break free from them.
Become are of your reactions
When you find yourself reacting or making a quick judgment, stop and ask yourself: What else could be true? What might I not be seeing? What is the energy here? This shift in perspective helps you to be open to other possibilities. Asking ‘what is the energy here” helps you to step back and to take the person out of it.
Cultivate empathy
Everyone has a story. Approaching people with curiosity rather than judgment opens the door to deeper understanding and compassion. Listen, truly listen, without taking things personally.
Be real
The most powerful way to break free of illusions is to stop creating them yourself, stop pretending, get rid of the fluff. When you can be who you are just as you are—flaws, struggles, all of it —you invite others to do the same. True confidence comes from owning who you are, not from perfecting an illusion. Be prepared to be seen naked!