Loving messages

How aware are you of the messages you give to your children?

How do you show delight in your child?

We all know that our children feel valued and loved when we give them our warmth, love and attention and show delight in who they are. Self confidence comes from positive, encouraging messages, especially when they feel frightened or are doing something new.

How often however do we, without thinking, give ‘don’t’ messages to our children? How often do we say “don’t be… selfish, stubborn, lazy, angry, sad…..whatever”? When we do this, the impression can be that certain aspects of who they be are not acceptable.

These ‘don’t’ messages come from our beliefs and perspectives which motivate the way we live. Beliefs are limiting, so it’s important to understand why they are there. Rather than say “don’t be lazy”, how would it be to take time and teach your child the benefits of self-discipline and persistence? Instead of saying “don’t be angry”, how would it be to encourage them to talk about what is going on for them? And listen.

When we don’t understand our beliefs, we go through life reacting unconsciously rather than being responsive to the world.

We live today in a competitive world in which our children tend to be measured by academic success. Society is materialistic, and many are fearful about a lack of money. It’s therefore all too easy as parents to place the emphasis on academic learning rather than creativity, having fun, doing whatever brings us joy.

By spending time together, we get to understand our children’s passions and uniqueness.  So, it’s great to make time to join in your children’s favourite activities, to listen when they want to talk, be in the moment together even if it’s simply to look at a hungry caterpillar.

When we stifle creativity, when we’re too busy to have fun, we unconsciously give the message that we don’t love and accept our child just as they are.

Play is the core of creative life. So, encourage dressing up, music, messy play, inviting an imaginary friend to the table, exploring their senses….

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