Some people, it seems, find it hard to be happy – they are happy being miserable! Never satisfied with the status quo, never one hundred per cent at home anywhere, always worrying about this or that. They might not like to admit it, however, what lies underneath is a belief they should have or be more, they don’t feel recognised.
And, in order to get a sense of recognition, they may develop the habit of trying to do things properly, to get things right in order to look good and feel self-important, to be accepted and liked. People pleasing is one such behaviour.
Is this you?
People-pleasers often think they are being kind. They justify their way of behaving as thinking of others first, wanting to make others happy. They might say ‘I don’t want to be selfish’. In truth, people-pleasing is ALL about self, about wanting to feel good, important, loved. And, it comes from a lack of trust, a lack of belief in self.
Some signs that you may be trying too hard to please others – apologising too often, feeling responsible for how others feel, unable to say ‘no’, being so busy you end up exhausted and feeling like a slave, feeling uncomfortable when someone is angry….
When you accept who you are, you have no need to feel important. When you enjoy being who you are, you don’t care if others think that you’re important or not – what other people choose to think is irrelevant.
When you believe you ‘deserve better than this’, its destructive because, as long as this is what you believe, you can never find joy as a consequence of being who you be.
The way to shift your energy is to find the heart of who you are, the diamond within yourself. Connect to your soul, why you are here, focus on your purpose, and you will experience the joy of seeing others find their joy.