Before I even set off from Vanuatu, I have to admit … I got the collywobbles. I wasn’t setting off on holiday, I was letting go of an attachment to a place and journeying as a way of life, something new.
Having got over the initial excitement, I came to realise there was this little fear around travelling alone. I didn’t get it, I didn’t understand it, so asking myself what was different now to the past… when after all I had travelled to Peru, to Africa, Myanmar, lots of different places in Europe. I saw that I was telling myself that I was old, which of course is rubbish. I don’t think age matters at all when it comes to travelling – in fact, for some of us it’s only when we’re older that we have the freedom to travel, to go anywhere, we can be so caught up in family or work commitments. However, rather than dismiss that, I asked myself what did I need to feel more secure and realised that part of me likes attention and, when you don’t have the thing (youth) that you think helps you to be liked, then you’re going to feel uncertain.
I needed to acknowledge that’s how I felt, accept myself as I am, give attention to others and move on.
The energy
To understand myself more, I needed to look at the type of the energy I had experiencing along the way from Vanuatu, to work with the significance of the energy that was being mirrored for me, not the appearance, but what was underneath, to see and work with my internal conflicts. Things were happening all the time, I realised that I had experienced so many different energies travelling around – warmth and generosity (strangers inviting me for coffee), thoughtfulness, kindness (being offered a lift in the rain)…. and… negativity, anger, ambivalence, a lack of joy in others. Energies we’re seeing everywhere throughout the world right now as we go through so much change to evolve. I looked at the archetypes energies within me and saw that there was one in control, and how to change that. I needed to remember that we’re not one-dimensional.
And staying with friends, I learned that, as much as you love them, there comes a time when we all need space…so it’s time to move on!
Patience, trust
Heading to the Cook Islands, I became aware I was feeling nervous again, I still needed to find accommodation. Of course, you’ve heard about all that. It all worked out and I didn’t end up in jail! I was impatient, I wasn’t trusting, in fact I’d go further there’s a part of me that wants to be given what I need on a plate. If you like to control things in life, things don’t always go your way. Patience…mmm, that lesson… still a work in progress for me! Sometimes, I’m learning that you need to standstill, to let go, allow what’s meant to be to come through and don’t stubbornly persist on ‘my will’.
New connections, new friends
The best thing about the last few weeks has been the experiences – the fun, the joy of meeting different people from different cultures, different walks of life … the sharing, the connection, the stories… sharing our humanity, vulnerability and seeing what is in our heart is what matters. We all essentially want the same thing… peace, love, acceptance. And connection and sharing is so important to us all.
I’m learning to travel for the pleasure of the journey itself.