The other day I remembered hearing a song that used to be on the radio when I was little – Lonnie Donergan’s song “Putting on the agony, putting on the style…that’s what the young folks are doing all the while”. My dad sang it over and over again! The lyrics were about ‘style’ and young people trying to impress which got me thinking…
Trying to impress is about value – looking for a sense of value to make yourself feel important, better about who you are. You might try to impress or gain status through what you wear, being ‘super-cool’, through acquiring ‘stuff’ (fancy car, big house, money in the bank) or behaving in a certain way … wanting to make everyone happy, being a know-it-all, the hostess with the mostest, so many different roles. I’ve tried a few, they don’t work! You can buy things you think you want, none of it in itself makes you happy, you need to be happy with yourself inside.
It’s normal to want to be successful. You might in fact become a high achiever and live what looks like a wonderfully balanced life. However, if it means you cover up your feelings, pretend they’re not there, hide under the sheets, afraid to speak up, one day you might explode and everything can fall apart.
Far better to just accept yourself as you are, the good and bad, and allow yourself to feel and express all the feelings that can be part of the messiness of life. They are simply energy and don’t define who you are. Of course most of us want to avoid feeling vulnerable, its awkward, uncomfortable, yet when you can communicate how you truly feel in a way that’s kind it’s just possible you will enjoy a deeper more intimate connection.
Looking for a sense of value, it’s something you can give to yourself…by liking yourself.